Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Where are All the REAL Men and REAL Gentlemens Clubs?

"Hey Stan, me and some of the other guys are going to a Gentlemens Club and want you to come along. Just note, saying no is not an acceptable response."

Such were the ramblings of a young man who thought I, like a lot of other men around us on that same work project, would jump at the chance for this kind of night out with the boys.

Knowing he wasn't familiar with my message that teaches all about being a REAL man in a playBOY world, I just laughed at him, said no thanks, and then politely directed him to my website. Although he never asked again, I couldn't just let his question go.

So I went there!

No, not the Gentlemens Club!

I went to that place in my mind that attempts to make sense of a commonly accepted term that has no rational explanation for why it is so commonly accepted.

Gentlemens Club!

When I think of the word "gentlemen", I never associate it with a smoke-filled room full of men drowning in a sea of flesh, being enticed to accept a cheap imitation for the gift of human sexuality.

The word GENTLEMEN to me is a word about being noble and respectful. It speaks of one who gives honor and bears the trademark of not demeaning in value the worth of another.

When we're talking about men and their ideas about love, sex and relationships, "Where are the REAL Men and Real Gentlemens Clubs?," I found myself asking.

Wouldn't it be great to have a club where REAL men go to:

  • Encourage each other to see women as more than full-of-brandy-eye-candy and toys-for-boys
  • Inspire one another to be men of commitment and live out their sexuality for LEG-A-CY, not how much LEG-I-SEE
  • Better follow the longing of the heart to be wanted for a lifetime of nights and not just a night of a lifetime
  • Remind one another that sex is LESS ABOUT RELEASE and MORE ABOUT EMBRACE
  • Help each other remember that SMUT spelled backwards is TUMS
  • Grow in understanding that it is called PLAYBOY because it appeals to men who still play BOY with adolescent attitudes about women as sex objects
  • Challenge each other with the reality that we are DESIGNED FOR DESIRE, but we also DESIRE FOR DESIGN
  • Help each other see that the greatest needs of humanity are relational and spiritual - NOT SEXUAL
  • Instruct one another in the truth about how 90% of couple-relating takes place OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM
  • Remind one another that the emptiest people are those living their lives for the moment and missing the lifetime

Now, that's the type of Gentlemens Club this loving husband and father would be most happy to go to with the guys. I think guys could learn a lot about being a man in this type of environment. How about it men, care to come along?

Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime." Find out why being seduced by an overemphasis on the bedroom and the body has many living for the moment but missing the lifetime at http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com/lasting-relationships.html

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